I have always been (semi) fluent in English, and growing up, I literally had to be dragged by the neck to Mandarin class. In Mandarin class, I’d talk and I’d laugh, I’d paint my nails with marker and memorize lyrics to Blink 182 songs – I’d pretty much do Everything apart from pay attention to what was going on. I wouldn’t even say my Chinese name, just because I did not want to. No real reason.

So I realize I have been writing a lot about my heart and my boring melodramatic emotions, so today I will write about one of my favorite bands.

Sooooo, it’s been a week since Valentine’s Day now and we all know that I, Holly Grabarek, did not have a Valentine. In fact, I got broken up with right before Valentine’s, and well, my lame ex-boyfriend had to send me a message to tell me he is now, let’s just say, hanging out with someone who he knew would annoy me.

But that’s life right? If your ex-boyfriend does nice things, then he probably would not be. And no, we can’t be “friends.”

Good morning cyberspace! It is 2:17pm. I am all dressed up, lying in bed, with pains in my stomach because I am kind of hungry, but probably more thirsty but think all that can wait for a 2:30pm-kind-of-time. Just closed a window of a highly annoying Rilo Kiley song that was playing. I love Rilo Kiley and Jenny Lewis is great but that song made me feel nothing more than frustrated at her whining and whaling of “you used to l-o-o-o-o-ve me”s and other lyrics that described heartbreak.

My new year resolutions, are at this point of time still nowhere in sight. I could not see past my own nose last year, so this year instead of just jumping into making a long list of things I want to do, I instead am taking it slow and making commitments, as I go along.

Bullying is like, this crazy big word that can be… anything. From someone calling you “stupid” to getting physically hurt, to just someone intimidating you. I don’t think it can be described in one word, because it has a different meaning to different people.

I’ve been bullied. In fact, I am, more than the average person, a push over. I don’t know how to say “No, I do not want to share my apple pie and ice cream.”

Well well, so it is now 2012. 2011 was an amazing year. I worked on so many cool projects like MTV EXIT and… (ahhhhh!) MTV World Stage. Working with Utt was super cool, and him leaving made me sad

But they say for every door that closes, another opens. And let’s just say the door that opened was pretty damn cool. Firstly, we have a new VJ, which meant a new co-host for me. Being socially awkward, I felt the stress of having to engage in close social interaction with someone I’d soon be spending everyday with. I met him and thank God, the awkward in “socially awkward” was nowhere to be found. Maybe because we are both part American, or it also could be that we are both part Asian, or well, simply because we both own white singlets. Either way, we get along and it has been (relatively) smooth sailing so far. But his interest in sports and my obvious lack of that has us on other ends of the world.

What are trends? What IS a trend? Who says something is a trend? And if I don’t like the trend, will I not look trendy?

Hello kids, older kids, teenagers, older teenagers, and anyone older than me would make you an adult. Ohayo.

Who’s first name starts with T and last name ends with T? Not T. Pain. Definitely not Kanye West. Well, that was a bit of a vague clue, but it’s Taylor Swift.

MTV EXIT Live in Manila has honestly changed my life. I found out so much about human trafficking and exploitation over the past month, it has left a hole in my already tainted heart.