James Morrison is covered in a thick film of chocolaty, Zen moss. His thoughts flow like a river of chocolaty oil down a chocolaty waterslide made of frozen chocolaty oil. Smooth and untainted, he channels the mental aptitude of 1000 wise owls interlocking talons to project forth a vast wall of knowledge; Travelling diagonally, a quintillion times faster than the speed of light, infinitely through time.

Within his guitar chords are strummed the vibrations matching wave for wave, the brainwaves of the 777 wisest prophets known to have contributed to Universal Truth. His declarative, yet sensitive voice echoes alongside through time and space, further reaffirming his unfathomable grasp on millions of years of human existence, billions of indescribable emotions, trillions of hearts desires and zillions upon zillions of inspirational Tweets.

For this reason, you must watch The MTV Show this Saturday to thoroughly internalize what James Morrison is really about, and to prepare you for the rest of your natural life and reincarnation. *Inhale, Exhale.. Breathe in through nose.. Out through mouth.. Chest exhale deeply (with angry face) – All at once – Ready.. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.. all the air out!? Get it all out.. Feel better? Good.* Sorry, *inhale again*. Okay, now you feel better.