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VJ Denise’s Thoughts on 16 & Pregnant Premiere – ‘Maci’Posted November 22nd, 2009 At 11:30 am By
A whole host of shows on the topic of teenage pregnancy can be seen in Glee, The Secret Life of an American Teenager and Degrassi. You question, “What makes this new show worth watching? I can see what teen pregnancy is about from any other television show which incorporates humour and drama! Triple whammy!â€
Hommie, I am only to give you one.
“It is as real as it gets on television! No sugar coating added”
Drama serials and comedies glaze them with a sugar coating making everything look easy breezy. 16 and Pregnant does no such thing; it gives you an inside look on how these young people, still in their teens cope with them. Or do they?
16 & Pregnant - Ep 1, Maci
The first episode. Heavy stuff huh? There is just so much to take in!
I am still reeling from:
How she informed her parents about her pregnancy. Like come on! Through a text message?!
Going for a ride on a Multi-Purpose Vehicle (MPV) in her 8th month of pregnancy?!
All this shows just how young both their mindsets are.
It was evident from the start that Maci would face scrutiny from people around her. Even her own friends had so many questions and started forming impressions about her throughout the episode. Though she shrugs it off, it is obvious she is affected by what they say. Would you be able to take such scrutiny?
16 & Pregnant - Ep 1, Maci and friends
After Bentley was born, it seemed that everything would be just fine. Before, it seems like she was still in a daze that she was pregnant. Something she said rang deep within me:
“I do not plan to be hard ass on Bentley. He can play the flute and I will still be happy.â€
“It is cool to have your own place.”
Having a kid still has not hit her!
16 & Pregnant - Ep 1, Maci and Bentley
One of the strongest impressions I got is how the parents of Maci and Ryan were so supportive of their children. I personally think many parents would have thrown out or disowned their children if it should happen. It is not easy for any parent to accept, understand and support such a situation. Maci’s dad even provided her a part-time job while her mum took care of Bentley when Maci was at school and Ryan was at work. They did not need to do it but they still did.
Being pregnant at 16 and the consequences you have to bear. I hate to use the word ‘consequences’ for childbirth is a celebration of life. But consider this, how much of your youth are you sacrificing and how much faster you are made to grow up?
16 & Pregnant - Ep 1, Maci and Bentley
In Maci’s case, she had to grow up quickly after Bentley was born. In the process, one of the things she felt was the lost of freedom to hang with her friends whenever she wants to. After going to college, she had joined a dance team but because of Bentley, decided to pull out. For Maci, there are just more important things like Bentley instead of dance. Maci is shown to be committed throughout, growing and learning through it all. However, she is still a child herself and hopefully things turn out for the better in the future.
Ryan throughout was a total douche bag! He was so insensitive and constantly running away to the local pub, the gym etc. He even once left Bentley on the sofa when he got bored of him. Now tell me peeps, who leaves a baby lying on the sofa, just waiting to fall off? He even got Maci, while she was heavily pregnant to get out of the car to check the tyres. Can’t this guy see how tough it is for her?!
In retrospective, Maci might have created the problems for herself by not communicating with Ryan and letting each problem build up. Things might have turned out differently if she did not bottle up her opinions and give sway to Ryan’s mood swings and wants.
There is a reason I can think of why Ryan did what he did. Fear. There seem to be much fear in him. For the future and how he was going to bear the responsibility in raising his son. However, I do not think it is a good enough excuse. You have a child now mister. You face it with him and your partner. Not run away at the first sign of trouble. Everyone, including both their parents are so supportive and he had no need to feel this fear with that much people at the side rooting them on.
16 & Pregnant - Ep 1, Maci and Ryan
A few questions for everyone to ponder about:
1)What did you think of Ryan’s attitude throughout the episode?
2)Do you think it was right for Maci to abandon the ring and leave it on the table?
3)What did you think of Maci’s decision to stay with Ryan even when there is no more love in the relationship and the only thing they have in common is Bentley?
4)What would you have done differently you were Maci and Ryan?
Waiting to hear from everyone and comments on the episode!
Much love,
xoxo
Denise
Disclaimer
Thanks for sharing your comments, views and opinions. This is a forum for us to talk openly about the reality of teen pregnancy and related topics. As our young generation, you are encouraged to learn and be empowered with knowledge to think for yourself.
MTV is an entertainment company and this is a social initiative to engage you in open discussions about teen pregnancies. The comments, opinions and views exchanged on this forum are personal to the contributors and do not in any way replace the advice provided by professionals skilled in the respective fields and issues. You should not rely on comments, opinions or views exchanged on this forum and should always seek professional counsel for any issue or problem.
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Useful Links
The websites below offer sex-related information, assistance in unplanned pregnancies, and professional counseling leads. Talk, learn and think for yourself. Don’t act in ignorance.
Sex, etc
Focus on the Family
http://www.family.org.sg/default.aspx?cat=51
Pertapis
Ramakrishna Mission
http://www.ramakrishna.org.sg/
BABES
SMS 8111 3535
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From now till January, Dr Ann Tan, gynaecologist and obstetrician, will be available to give you the medical facts of teen pregnancy.
Please note that all comments on this blog are subject to moderation.
This entry was posted on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009 at 11:30 am and is filed under VJs & Celebrities. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
23 Responses to “VJ Denise’s Thoughts on 16 & Pregnant Premiere – ‘Maci’”
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Previous questions carried over:
RavernVermount posted on November 12, 2009 at 2:29 pm (Edit)
Hi Denise!! I’m a huge fan of you. I’m glad that it was you the ambassador for this programme. MTVAsia could pick any more better person than. Neway, my question is, how can a teenager dealt with her parents bout her getting pregnant? Is abortion the best way for underage unplanned pregnancy?
First of all, thank you so much for your support. to answer your q, i think the best way, hands down is to be honest and confront the reality of the situation. Telling the truth is always the best way, and as much as parents may be shocked and angry in the beginning, you will have to come together and decide what are the best options for your future. It’s always difficult in the beginning, but really it shouldn’t be. There are many options-being pregnant so young calls for a support system and there are many people out there that can help.
hi denise! if i may add on to your reply..whether abortion is rght or not, i think the answer differs person to person and comes from asking some hard questions:
- am i financially capable of supporting yourself and a baby
- do my own parents have time, energy and money to help me with the baby? is it fair to rely on them? is this responsibility something they want to take on or is it something i impose on them?
- what do i have to sacrify to keep the baby? my education, my friends, my relationship, my hobbies, my dreams? am i willing to?
- am i able to and do i have the family support in place to care for a baby properly and give the child all he or she needs to grow up normal, not underprivileged?
- how do i feel about abortion? if i am personally against it, how do i feel about giving the baby up for adoption after 9 mths of pregnancy?
- what would be the best thing for the baby and for everyone in my life?
- is this baby conceived with genuine love and respect btw the parents
i think the answer to an underage (or anyone for that matter) lies in the honest reflection to the questions above…which brings me to the opinion that if you ain’t ready to face these hard question and make a hard decision, don’t court trouble to begin with…or if you are going to have sex, plan it such that it stop at sex and not continue on to pregnancy, childbirth or abortion, and so on. and if contraception somehow fails you, then be brave and be responsible. It’s time to grow up.
I think you can take over my job now! LOL. So true, and so right. The list of questions that you pose are sound and such reality checks. I mean, there is so much more than just sex, a baby and the merry day after. I really think you hit the nail and I commend you for making my role is easy:)
Hi Denise, what do you think of teen pregnancy in an Asian culture? 16 & Pregnant shows teens from the States where that sort of thing is a little more accepted (I think), but I’d imagine that here in Singapore it’d go over a lot worse with parents. Do you think it’d be a lot tougher for pregnant teens here?
Well, there is no doubt that there is a cultural difference between the west and the east, but one thing is for sure..this is a reality that happens on both sides of the planet. this episode shows more ‘rosiness’ to Maci’s support system, but really, do you think it was all that rosy? Macy mentions how she and mother cried when she tolde here face to face. In other episodes and other stories, you wont have such supportive parents. in fact, you will see much harsher situations for the pregnant teen. So i think, its hard in any culture and that there really is no difference between an asian home to an american home.
Besides raising the baby and abortion, do you think doing a ‘Juno’ and giving the baby up for adoption is a good alternative? I mean, clearly at 16 years old, the teenager is still very much a kid herself, she can’t take care of a kid and most probably her parents will have to chip in to help, which becomes an additional burden for them.
I think it was wrong for Maci to have Sex with him before marrying him. She should at least talk to him about the lifestyle they going to have after Bently is born.
Hi, Denise!
Do you think teenage girls would be more scared to tell their parents if they become pregnant, and turn to their friends for advice and help instead of qualified doctors? What can be done in this case?
Thanks for answering my question! <3<3
Hi there,
Its always good to talk to somebody you trust, somebody you can confide in. The only thing is, that if you find out that you are pregnant, you still need to seek medical attention because your physical body is morphing and you need to be able to understand what is going on with your body. Apart from talking to your close friends, eventually your parents will have to know as well. If that is too hard to do, then there are amazing helplines that can help you break the ice to you parents(they are listed above). As i said in earlier posts, there are numerous options in getting through the difficult ice breaker, but once you are past it, you will have to decide what is the best option for yourself. After all, you have to take responsibility for your actions, no?
I just saw the show on tv. I think while maci was pregnant, they were both living excited in lala land, reality hits hard and relentless after the birth of baby bently. It’s quite clear that maci and ryan are not ready to be parents together. Instead of being a bundle of joy, poor bently is the reason why things became bad btw his mom and dad. bently is the real victim here
touche! it really is not la la land. its no fairy tale and it definitely is not ‘happily ever after’…Its harsh, its difficult..there are emotions that are hard to curb, and some emotions are pent up away from communicating through the most difficult challenges.
I think macy is superb, i think she grows with the reality and she sticks by her guns with everything she does. I really think she did the right for herself-you can see how much she loves bentley…sniff
1) What did you think of Ryan’s attitude throughout the episode?
I think Ryan is an ass and a jerk throughout this episode. He went after Maci during the initial courtship and even gave her a ring to declare his love for her. But after she got pregnant, he distance himself away and refuse to come to terms that he has made someone pregnant and is going to be a father. He is irresponsible and not committed to his new role as a father. Maci was the one who did her reponsibilties as a mother dutifully.
2) Do you think it was right for Maci to abandon the ring and leave it on the table?
No I do not think it is right for Maci to leave the ring on the table. I think she did it to get the message across to Ryan that she is contemplating about their relationship together. What she should have done was to sit down with Ryan and have a good talk with him. Tell him how ne needs to be more involved with their son, Bentley as well as to share the responsibilities of looking after Bentley together. Besides that, Maci also needs to let Ryan know how she feels when he went out with his friends whereas she is at home with Bentley and does not have quality time with her friends like he does.
3) What did you think of Maci’s decision to stay with Ryan even when there is no more love in the relationship and the only thing they have in common is Bentley?
I think Maci is patient and is trying very hard to make her relationship work with Ryan so that Bentley would be in a real fanily. They are still young and having a kid is hard for a 16 year old and hence they have yet to come to terms about the time they have to spent with their newborn kid as well as think about their own future. Perhaps there is still hope for Maci and Ryan to work things out as long as they manage to work out the duties that they need to share when looking after Bentley.
On the other hand, staying with Ryan when there is no more love would bring resentment to Maci if she never brings up the issues that is making her feel frustrated with Ryan and allowing Ryan to do whatever he wants just to make him happy is wrong. In the end, they would still be separated and have more resentment towards each other and not talk to each other. The one to suffer would be baby Bentley who would not know who his father is at all.
4) What would you have done differently you were Maci and Ryan?
Would give the baby up for adoption as I know I am too young and immature to have a baby at such a young age. I do not wish to have my baby suffer and grow up in a hostile family even with the father around if we are just going to argue with each other for every single day or not talk to each other at all. It is not a loving family for the baby to grow up in.
I soooo felt the same way when I first watched this episode…ryan aint the chivalrous type of guy but i guess you cant judge him either because he really is confused, scared, and a typical guy who deflects anything that is confrontational. Thank you for answering my questions, you really have some sound advise there! I really appreciate your efforts in replying to me-THANKS NADIA!
Speaking as a guy myself, I think blokes who ditch their soon-to-be baby mamas are huge jerks. Real men would face up to their mistakes and find some way to provide for the mother/child. A lot of guys get off way too easily.
YOU RAWK JACK! The toughest thing for a girl who falls pregnant, is to be deserted by her boyfriend. It takes 2 to tango, and the responsibility is equally shared. We need more boys like you to voice out
HEYA GALS & BOYS!
THANK YOUSO MUCH FOR CHECKING IN AND CHATTING WITH MOI TODAY!! ITS IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS, IT’S IMPORTANT TO HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION ON HAND AND ITS IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE REALITY OF TEENAGE PREGNANCIES, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT TO FEEL EMPOWERED TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS FOR YOUR LIFE.
I’m not a preacher nor a doctor, but I definitely believe in youth empowerment and its up to us to let all our guards down and discuss this important message with everyone. So keep tuned, keep chatting and keep blogging with moi.
Also, if you would like to hang and chill with me, hit up
http://www.your-life-asia.com and pledge to win a day out with me.
big smooches, big hugs and a lot of love….
xoxo
denise
After watching this episode on 16 and Pregnant, I felt Maci had gone through alot. In the process of handling peers’ impression of her and the life being a mother. Fortunately for her, she has both supportive parents and parents’ in laws.
We all must have done something wrong in some parts of our lives.(such as lying, stealing etc) As for Macie, its teen pregnancy. I felt that as parents, we ought to learn how to handle situations properly at the different stages in our child’s life. Im happy that both parents in the show do not discriminate their children act of consequences. Instead, they embraced the new situation and have some chats with them.
Ryan obviously was not prepared to step into Parenthood. He showed no responsible in taking care of the baby. But he did show some affection for the baby by tattooing its name on its body. He did try to make it happen, but not hard enough.
Im not sure if its right or wrong to leave the ring on the table. But i do understand her emotion at the moment.
I think its right that Maci have decided to stay on with Ryan even thought there is no love in the relationship though the only common thing they both have is Bentley. I can see that both of them are trying to make their relationship works. Maybe its just the toil of parenthood that is getting on their nerves that they said that there is no more love between them. They just need to spend more time together as parents and lovers, and i am sure that may turn out well.
If i were to be Maci, I may have done things differently from her. I may have abandon the relationship with Ryan and raised Bentley on my own. Maci has shown maturity and commitment. She is so much stronger than i would be.
1. Ryan’s attitude was unacceptable, he was thoughtless, uncaring. But he is still young, confused, i’m sure he’ll gain more confidence with Bentley and i hope he doesn’t abandon Maci.
2. I think it was right for Maci to put the ring on the table. If Ryan wasn’t gonna do his share then what’s the point of him staying around?
3. I think Maci did the right decision by choosing to stay with Ryan. Bentley needs a father (if Ryan can actually be one). If Ryan and Maci split up, it’ll be hard for Bentley. The child shouldn’t be suffering because of their parents.
4. If i got pregnant at 16 with my boyfriend, I would have given birth. I may have put the child for adoption, but I would have never gone through abortion. I feel like abortion is crime. You’re killing your OWN baby!
I definitely think Maci did the right thing by giving birth. She is strong and responsible. And although it’s hard, a child is the greatest gift. It brings joy, laughter and meaning to your life.
Hey Denise I’m a huge fan of yours and I’m watching the Maci& Ryan story and well I think that the way ryan is it’s like he doesn’t want his child and the way he treats Maci is like she’s the only one that grew up and well is acting like a mother to her child. To me I personally feel that if ryan is just staying because of Bentley, well i just hope Ryan changes for Maci and Bentley’s good and be a responsible Father to his child.
Peace Denise
well i like this show.. coz i’m now go thru the same situation like her.it showed me a lot what could happen to my life now.it showed me what a heavy life that i’m going to go thru! but maci’s parents is kinder than mine.. i were isolated from the world since my family know that i am pregnant. and eventhou my boyfriend always come to my family asking permission to marry me n be responsible for what we did, but my parents didn’t think that way.. they didn’t trust him at all..Maci’s are lot of better situtation.. i just hoping that she could do better by thinking lots wiser n mature since Bentley already born. my due date is 8 dec, i can’t wait..
i feel like maci did the right thing by leaving the ring on the table for one ryan is not ready for father hood 2 he think that running around wit his friends is more important then his family and i actually understand that he has a job but hell he dnt take his family serious he think maci suppose to do everything maci can raise bently but she can’t show him how to be a man thats ryan job i knw he might regret it but hey the baby is here now and it’s time for ryan to step up i feel like once u have a baby you suppose to give your life up and the things that you use to do on hold because the baby will take it all up but men gone be men and think that they life suppose to still do what they been doing so maci keep your head up and show your son true love and let ryan be on his own but dnt pull his son from him if he want to be there let him but if he dnt just be there yourself
i really like the show im a mother myself a mother of 2 i just cant believe that my kids father is thinking it right 2 have fun and live his life but i cant get mad though because i chose to stay around and deal with him again but i know one day that he will see that his kids are the world but right now me and him are through and no he dnt come see the kids at all because i want take him back i just can’t deal wit his childish ways anymore